Antisocial

This is not the disorder-type antisocial but I know, it's not the right term. For the lack of right word to use, my friend Ronna is right... we're gradually getting antisocial. Or are we now antisocial? College stress is different, it gets on our nerves. Sometimes I feel like I want to shift and get the hell out of this fcuking course that makes me go crazy because most of the time, failure keeps getting on its peak. No matter how many times failure keeps getting away, people still manage to find it because like... duuuuuuh, who knew ECE was hard?!? Who said it would be this hard to get that "engineer" title before your name??

The bitter truth: NOBODY.

For me, there's no turning back now. I don't have anywhere to go because this is what I want, in the first place. I want to do not just good but best in school. Just like how the song goes... "my best wasn't good enough." Maybe this is the reason why I am stressing myself on getting high grades. I admit that I am very conscious of my grade even though at times I feel so lazy doing something for it. But I can manage to keep it on it's level, okay? Stress, I think, is the reason why I just want to be alone sometimes -- do things alone, talk to no one, just be quiet on one corner of your room. But hey, I don't live the same way I live in my real house back in Cabanatuan. It's not like I always sit there in front of the tv, computer or do things alone like I always do since I don't have any siblings. In here, I have roommates. And yeah, sometimes because of our indifferences, its hard keeping up with them sometimes. It's just that I feel closer to my blockmates more than them even we sleep in the same room.

And to add, I wanted to be alone sometimes. Even if I am with my block's company. Because silence keeps me at ease, staring at space, organize stuff and most of all STUDY.

~CAPACITOR.